


Talk About Screwed

by Jordanakabookie



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 14:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17510537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jordanakabookie/pseuds/Jordanakabookie
Summary: A Tuckington oneshot"Well aren't you fucking screwed." Grif snorted, taking a swig from his most recent bottle.





	Talk About Screwed

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, so if anything is out of character there is a reason. 
> 
> This is dedicated to Brooke, who got me into this show. Thanks bitch <3

"Well aren't you fucking screwed." Grif snorted, taking a swig from his most recent bottle. There was various empty bottles and glasses on the table, all helping to lead them towards Tucker and Grif's current state: utter drunkenness. 

"Fuck off man, you're banging a robot." Tucker shot back, words slurring. He wasnt sure how much alcohol he had consumed so far, but it was enough to make the world spin just a bit. 

"Half. Half robot, you ass. And I'm not banging him, or whatever." Grif scoffed, swallowing down the rest of his drink in one large gulp, grimacing as it went down. "These are nasty, why did you make me come here?" The chubby man whined, leaning back in his chair. 

Tucker sighed, rubbing his face with a hand. Why had he invited Grif? He couldn't really remember, except for the fact that he wanted to vent his current problem to someone. Usually that someone would be Wash, but seeing as the current problem was Wash.. yeah, Tucker couldnt talk to him. Grif was the next best option, unfortunately, since Church ditched him for Tex. Tucker could vaguely remember the asshole bragging about how he had convinced Tex to go on a date for about the twentieth time. When Tucker pointed it out, Church had snapped back about how he still had more of a love life than Tucker. 

Well, he wasnt wrong about that, unfortunately. 

"You came here willingly dick. I said that the drinks were horrible." Tucker huffed indignantly, before smirking. "Plus, the managers daughter knows me, which means free drinks. Bow chicka wow wow." 

Grif made a disgusted face, nose crinkling. "Never needed to know that. Could have just said the drinks were free." Tucker noticed him brighten suddenly, eyes widening. "Is the food free too?" 

Tucker waved him off, shaking his head. "Fuck no dude. My charms only go so far. I cant let them think that I'm too interested." He was spouting total bullshit, but Grif didnt know that the managers daughter was actually Junior's babysitter. 

A free drinks later, the two had reached the point where talking normally was hard, and their words were gibberish. Grif had ordered nachos at some point, and the now empty container lied in the middle of the table, cleaned completely after Grif went after them. Tucker was currently in a haze of sorts, thoughts drifting lazily through his brain. He and Grif had just completed a round of shots, prompted by a random thought Grif had, about how they could reveal something random each time they downed a shot. 

"Simonss comin' tu pick my upp." Grif almost yelled, words just barely making sense. Tucker replied something, before dozing with his eyes open. 

"Wow, you two are a wreck." 

Tucker turned his head to Simmons, who currently was wearing an expression of extreme disgust, and maybe disappointment. Tucker shrugged, or maybe something like a shrug, not replying. 

"Okay, yeah, I think I'm gonna call Wash to come get your ass." Simmons muttered, heaving a barely conscious Grif out of the chair. If he wasnt so shitfaced, Tucker would have snapped a photo in .5 seconds. Maybe he would remember it when he wasnt drunk. But, probably not. 

As Simmons words took effect Tucker realized what they meant. "Yay! Wait.. no! Hee cannt com." He said, or at least tried to say. Judging by Simmons face it didnt come across as clear as he wanted it to.

"Uh, yeah. I'm gonna go dump Grif in the car then call Wash. Stay here." Simmons promptly dragged/helped Grif to the car, Tucker watching them go. Fuck, Wash couldn't come, Wash was why he got drunk in the first place. Stupid, beautiful Wash, with his stupid freckles. It was stupid.

"Damn." Tucker sighed, laying his cheek against the table. He remained that way until he registered the fact that someone was standing in front of him. That someone being Wash. Who looked concerned and disappointed. Huh, Wash had a sort of worry line in between his eyes when he frowned like that, cute.

"Oh heeyyyy Wash." Tucker grinned, not bothering to lift his head. "What's upp?" He smiled less when Wash rubbed his temples, groaning.

"Tucker, why are you this drunk? Why did you let Grif get that drunk? Dont you have a kid to take care of?" Wash questioned, face turning even more serious, somehow. Didnt make him look any worse, Tucker decided.

"You look cute when you frown like that." Tucker muttered, not that aware that he was drooling. Maybe from resting his cheek like he was against the table, maybe from how hot Wash was. It was 50/50 really. Or maybe 25/75.

Red spread up from Wash's neck to his face, and he adverted his eyes with a cough. "Okay then Tucker, let's get you back home."

"Wow, I dont usually take people home this soon but I guess I can make an exception." Tucker flirted. He couldnt deny he didnt like how much more awkward and stiff Wash got after that, even as he was helping Tucker into his car.

Tucker layed his head on the window, watching people walk by in a hurried fashion. He drifted in and out of consciousness as Wash drove him home, though when Wash shook his shoulder he woke up fully.

He might be awake, but he definitely wasnt very functional. Wash ended up lifting his arm and putting it over his own shoulder, helping him walk. With prompting Tucker handed over his keys, waiting drowsily until Wash had the door opened. Wash deposited Tucker on his bed, looking around to judge the state of his room.

"Tucker, do you ever clean up?" Wash made a small noise of disgust, avoiding the mountain in and around the trash can. "Dont even want to know what some of those things are."

"Bow chicks wow wow." Tucker couldnt help but say, watching as Wash tidied up a bit. "Dudee, why are you even cleaning? Its myy house."

Wash shook his head, pausing his efforts. "I dont know, maybe because your room is nasty." Tucker didnt press it, taking to staring at Wash. Damn, Wash was hot. He had a good ass too. Especially when he bent over. He wondered briefly what that ass could do, before he forced it away. He shouldn't be thinking like this.

He refocused when Wash handed him a glass of water, grey blue eyes staring down at him. "Here, try to get some water down. It might help with your future hangover."

Tucker stared disinterestly at the water but drank it regardless, purposely taking deep gulps. He inwardly smirked when he saw Wash looking, face getting redder. Tucker unfortunately finished the water quickly with the rate he was drinking it, and Wash looked away determininedly.

"There you go. I'll go get some Advil then I'll leave. Call me in the morning if you need anything else, okay?"

Without thinking Tucker reached out for him, taking his hand gently. He wasnt really sure of what he was doing, but too late now.

"Stay, please?" Tucker asked, a hint of desperation in his voice. Wash frowned lightly, looking both confused and awkward.

"Tucker, you are currently deeply and utterly drunk. I'm pretty sure you don't know what you are saying." Wash murmured, rubbing Tucker's hand with his thumb.

"No, I do. Please?" Tucker asked again, hiding his smile when Wash gave in with a sigh. "Hell yeah. C'mere, Wash." He held open his arms, beckoning impatiently. Wash laughed gently, getting on the bed and laying down opposite from Tucker.

"Okay, time for bed, Tucker." Wash murmured, resting his head on his arm. Tucker flipped over to look at him, just barely restraining himself from reaching out to touch Wash's hair. Man, it was unfair for Wash to be this perfect. "Fine, fine, I'll go to bed." Tucker complied, groaning. He repeated Wash's pose, staring at the freckled man for another minute before closing his eyes. He was almost fully asleep when he felt hands run through his dreads slowly.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tucker's first thought was that his air conditioning must be broken. It was way warmer than Tucker was used to, but not yet at the point it was unbearable.

Then, Tucker realized that his leg was rubbing against another leg. Upon further investigation, it wasnt his other one. Oh fuck, who did he bring home last night. Drunk Tucker was not a smart Tucker.

He opened his eyes slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the light of morning. His breath stilled, eyes widening when he saw who's face was right next to his own. Suddenly some of last night's adventure came back to him, mainly the part where he asked Wash to stay with him. Somehow the two must have drifted closer, because now Wash's arms were wrapped around him and their legs were tangled together.

Tucker sighed in relief when he realized Wash was still asleep, which honestly was highly suprising. Wash never slept. But here he was, snoring softly and blowing air onto Tucker's face.

Tucker's heart sped up as his brain processed this new information, and he thanked whatever gods that were out there that he asked Sheila to babysit Junior. Damn, his kid would have already been in here, jumping on the bed and demanding what the hell the two were up to. Nosy little shit.

Tucker shifted, seeing how much he could move without waking Wash. Not much, apparently, seeing as how Wash's eyes eyes, just a bit, and his face twisted with confusion.

Tucker's hangover came out with fury, making his laugh stop prematurely. "O-Oh, hey Wash. How'd you sleep?"

Wash stared at Tucker for a few moments, looking both amused and stern. Plus some confusion. "Tucker, how much do you remember from last night?"

Tucker pondered this for a second before answering. "Enough to know that I drank way too much and also asked you to stay over."

Wash nodded, face slowly turning red. "And, uh, do you currently realize the position we are in?" Tucker nodded back, insides twisting with worry. What the fuck is Wash thinking?

Tucker was just about to open his mouth to apologize before Wash was kissing him. The thought barely registered before Wash tore away, sitting up quickly. He covered his face with both hands, mumbling apologies. "Fuck Tucker, sorry. I shouldn't have done that, your probably still drink, I shouldn't have.."

Tucker grabbed both of Wash's hands, gently moving them. He didnt let go however, squeezing them. "Dude, that was like the best thing you've ever done. Just saying." He grinned, his hangover not feeling so bad all of a sudden. "Also, you could do it again. If you wanted."

Wash narrowed his eyes at him, probably judging to see if he was messing around. He visually relaxed, a soft smile spreading on his face. "Seriously?" He didnt wait for an answer, kissing Tucker again. They did that for another couple of seconds, before Wash pulled away again, nose scrunched up. "You need to brush your teeth, nasty breath."

Tucker laughed, pushing him before getting up. Fuck, he didnt know what exactly would happen next, but he sure as he hoped it would go how he wanted it to.


End file.
